Sweden, we got a problem*

The Swedes are seriously confused about what to do with Halloween. They don't know whether to celebrate it (it's not Swedish), they don't know how to celebrate it (no one trick or treats), and they don't know when to celebrate it (I passed a little girl in costume last Friday while TV3 has Halloween weekend this coming weekend). Despite the Swedes' obvious lukewarm feelings towards Halloween, the holiday lurks around town in odd places. The bakeries are selling garish orange marzipan cakes that even I, as an American looking for a bit of Halloween cheer, passed on. Every supermarket has a sad little display of decorative cobwebs, napkins, and plastic spiders. A few bold places even sell witch hats and face makeup. Today, while shopping for a nightgown, I noticed some Halloween panties that said BUUUUUHHH! (Who knew BOOOOOO! wasn't universal?).

There is a part of me that wants the Swedish bakeries and supermarkets and underwear makers to stop trying. The amount of cobwebs still available today proves that most people just don't care. And although I've always loved Halloween, I understand. After all, I'm not so into the idea of more Americanization and commercialization, either. But that's only a part of me, and if I'm honest, it's a small part.

Really, I think Sweden needs Halloween.

This Saturday was a beautifully crisp fall day but inside IKEA they were serving gingerbread cookies and saffron cakes, two treats that, in my opinion, should not be eaten before December--and people were actually eating them. Today, while on my way to the bakery to reject the aforementioned orange cakes, I saw that the store next to the bakery was putting Christmas greens up in the window display. Rather than fill me with the Christmas spirit, I wanted to scream and rage and cry, "You're ruining it!" to the workmen. Call me old-fashioned but I'd like Christmas to remain a little special--a few weeks of loveliness, instead of a few months. I know I'm not alone when I say that I am against the current tendency to divide the year into two seasons: summer and Christmas.

Of course, Christmas' devouring of fall has been happening for years in America. Santa's float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, which used to signal the beginning of the Christmas shopping season, now seems to represent the unfortunate merging of the two holidays. But even in America, I've never seen Christmas decorations out in September (which is when they debuted at IKEA). The early Christmas selling in Sweden is said to be more "American" (if it's super commercial and insane it must be due to the Americans!) but I don't buy that. In fact, I think it's particularly Swedish and due to the country's lack of any major fall holiday.

It may be controversial but I repeat: the Swedes need Halloween. Or Oktoberfest or Swedish Thanksgiving or a day when we worship the leaves or ANY FREAKING HOLIDAY AT ALL that will honor autumn and postpone the Christmas season. The Swedes do actually have at least three fall Holidays that I for one would like to see grow in importance. There's Alla Helgons Dag (All Saints Day) this coming weekend, which is when people put candles on the graves of loved ones and the graveyards glow cozily and eerily through the night. There's father's day in mid-November, and there's even Mårtensafton, which, whatever meaning it used to have, is now mostly about eating goose. Eating geese may go against my vegetarian sensibilities, but I'm so exhausted with the early Christmas decorations that I'm almost willing to roast the bird myself if they would just stop with the red and white and lights and elves already.

Because I'm weak. And sometimes, my principles suffer. Oh, I admit it, I may not have been eating pepparkakor at IKEA but I did go home with my own little piece of fall-destruction. Egged on by IKEA employees who assured me that once the Christmas decorations sell out they will NOT be ordering more, I bought some balls for my first ever Christmas tree (as in not at my parents' house). Well, who knew when I'd be back, and the Christmas balls were so cheap... But I felt like such a sucker afterwards, especially after spewing vitriol about the eaters of lussekatter, that I went promptly out to buy a pumpkin from the pumpkin seller by the exit. Like I said, everything is confused, hell now even I'm getting confused, and pumpkins are being brought home in bags that say God Jul!

Let's stop the madness, Sweden. Let's stop wishing the crunchy leaves be replaced by freezing rain. Let's drink apple cider outside before it's time for awkward glögg parties. Let's celebrate fall and let winter have Christmas. For my part, I promise not to buy any more Christmas decorations as long as it's warm enough to have my coat unzipped.

Happy Halloween.

*This title is pilfered from Quit Your Dayjob